Uncertainty

Uncertainty

We all deal with this demon, don't we?

We're unsure of something, we don't know if we should do this or that, we're uncertain of the future or anything that our lives will hold for us. It's just how everything works. Everyone has always been uncertain at one point in their lives, and this uncertainty can sometimes prevent people from moving forward. It prevents us from taking that dreaded leap that would eventually lead us to where we were trying to go. We merely are uncertain if that leap is the right choice, or if that leap will truly take us to where we want to be going.

It's natural to be uncertain, that much is obvious. Otherwise, we wouldn't be uncertain at all. :) However, we are because we are thinking creatures who always place doubt in ourselves. We fail to realize our limitations in most situations, so we either cut ourselves short or we overestimate ourselves. A 'responsible' person usually undercuts themselves and never does anything wild or interesting with their life. The 'irresponsible' person is usually the opposite...unless they're the couch potato- but each to their own.

I've personally dealt with uncertainty many times in my life. I've been unsure if my choices were the right choices, unsure of what is the right course of action or what people want me to do (people being my parents.) It can lead to disaster and I know that very well, but sadly? I haven't done anything with my life as a result. I've never been what people like to call 'young.' Too responsible (ha), too considerate, too much of my life has been inside my head and sometimes, I wonder if being so unsure of myself is something bad or something good.

Tonight is one such night. I have been sitting awake for hours, simply thinking of choices and leaps that I'm unsure of taking and I'm now looking back on what's happened in my life and wonder if I've done the right thing.

I'm not the perfect child, I'm far from it- but the majority of my choices have always been in the favor of others. What they felt was best, and what usually benefited others in the end. Why? Because I'm a people-pleaser and I was too unsure of myself to go for what I really wanted, so I followed.

Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of confidence. It's simply the fact that I don't have confidence in the world around me. Something might be full proof. I go to college, get a job in business, and live out the rest of my days on the pay check of an accountant and hate my life. That's the general plan- except throwing in my dreams. However, what I feel is uncertain, is the idea that I even get a job in accounting. Why? I'll tell you.

Nothing in this world is certain.

So, as I lay here in bed, typing this- I begin to realize something. It doesn't matter what choices I've made or what choices I will make. I simply have to start going for things- no matter the uncertainty that lies behind them. If I don't, life will never be great and life will always be dull because I went with the safest possibility- or the possibility other felt was safest for me.

I encourage everyone to realize this too. Nothing is ever certain in life- so go with your instinct and follow it. Don't hide and cower in uncertainty, because it will always be there- no matter what route you choose to follow. Take a chance and roll with it.